When you're full of it....

I know, it's been awhile since I've posted so here's the poop:

I didn't. Yeah that's right, I stopped going to the bathroom for awhile and figured that it was the whey in the protein powder.

So although my energy sky rocketed in the first week it began to plummet when I was no longer evacuating cause let's face it, I was full of it.

But then we found out that Isagenix (which is the cleanse we chose to do) has a berry powder with NO whey in it. So I called to see if I could return our current gigantic canisters of whey powder and I have to say, they were kind of awesome. They immediately offered to ship out a canister of whey-free berry stuff for free, and if I like it, they'll ship out 3 more for FREE and I don't need to send the other ones back. So that was pretty cool!

Meanwhile Greg still likes the stuff and we both agree that the energy we have on these products is pretty awesome. We've ordered more of the green tea chocolates and these E+ bottles that are like natural Red Bull - hee ya!

Weight-loss wise I lost about 4 lbs the first week but I haven't lost anymore. But according to the Wii Fit if I do lose too much more I'll be underweight so I'm not really trying to lose. Gotta tone what's there now. But this requires effort and time. And if it's between toning and gardening or napping I typically choose gardening. hehe Seriously though, am making more time for the exercise piece which is kind of essential.

Bottom line: Eating clean the way I usually do with the added other stuff like the Ionix shots and the E+ shots etc I feel very very good. Greg has lost about a half inch off his waist so he's decided to stick with it. He's currently on the deep cleanse fast for two days - go Bebe!

I figure if you're really fat then following the Isa 30 day thing is probably a good way to go.

But if you're already in decent shape and know how to eat well, then supplementing with some of the Isa stuff will just give you added energy and that's great for us as busy parents and biz owners.

Next time I blog I'll talk about the berry stuff and if I like that and the only downside I see to using this stuff so far...

Forks & Aliens

So today started off not too bad, I didn't actually heave while drinking the Ionix early morning shot - (note to self definitely try drinking it as a tea as per recommendation from sweet friend.)

Had a shake and a fiber bar as a mid-morning snack and that was great but I was missing my Chai Latte. Instead I had brought some little packet that said Chai something with Adaptogens (whatever those are) that came with the Isa cleanse kit. I brought it as a comfort drink and poured the contents into a cup by the kettle at work and went to the bathroom. The contents were a brown liquid that might look like the end of someone's coffee. But I didn't think of that because I was too focused on feeling grateful that I was about to have something that might even resemble Chai tea. But epic fail.

I got back and someone had tossed my cup in the bin. And then something not so positive happened. I surprised myself by feeling rather enraged and began interrogating all of my students as to who threw my cup out while disguising my inner freak out! I suddenly caught myself and realized how desperate I was for something warm and comforting to drink and that I was slowly turning into that creature from Alien.

So I put the class on an exercise and went to Bridgehead for a god damn Chai Latté.

Had a filling salad for lunch and an apple mid-day for a snack. Circumstances prevented me from getting home till 8:00pm for dinner however and around 6:00pm I started to have violent tummy spasms while visiting with friends. Was this punishment for the latté? As it turns out, they faded after I finally ate. So I think I was just bloody hungry. I feel full now but tonight I`m really craving a glass of wine. A nice Shiraz. And a piece of chili pepper chocolate.

Sadly I must admit that if I had to go anywhere tonight and saw anyone enjoying a nice glass of wine, I`d have to stab them with a fork. 

Shits & Giggles

Giggles first:

Energy - I definitely have more than usual!

Greg commented last night that I typically come home from work fairly fried. I hadn't even had dinner, it was 10:00pm and I was still pretty energized. I gather it was from drinking this little shot of E+ that came with the Isagenix 30-day cleanse kit. Will definitely be ordering more of those little buggers along with the yummy protein bars.

This morning was the yummiest smoothie to date:

2 scoops of the Isa Vanilla Powder
Romaine lettuce (cause it's packed w protein, see my previous post)
Ice cubes and water

The Shits:

Evenings seem to be the toughest on both of us. We're snackers. We like to snack while watching a show or a movie or working. Water just isn't cutting it snack-wise. And as for my part, I like a glass of wine in the evening here and there so I'm missing that too.

So biggest challenges for both of us so far in order are:

• Not snacking after dinner. (So long as no one comes by the house, then everyone should keep their heads... :( :(
• Drinking the shot of Ionix Supreme in the morning. :(
• Drinking enough water. 
• And for Greg only it seems to be remembering what he can eat and trying to time his meals and snacks accordingly. Big adjustment for him..

Final Giggles: 

On the plus side, last night a female grocery clerk asked me if I was a student so I could get a discount. I told her no but will you marry me? Gotta be the cleanse... ;)

The Skinny on the Isagenix Cleanse Food

Okay so I'm not an advocate of being 'skinny' because that's rather synonymous with unhealthy. But I find the quote humorous as it's exactly what I was thinking on Day 1 as I drank my first smoothie: I will feel fit if I drink this.

Bear in mind that this is MY perspective and MY taste buds ;) Smilies are based on TASTE only as it's too early to tell whether or not all of this is working on Day 3.

The SMOOTHIE:
It was kind of like drinking liquid chalk the first day. But as it turns out I hadn't mixed it correctly with only 1 scoop of powder. So this morning we mixed vanilla and chocolate, added romaine lettuce (romaine is 17% protein and has 20 oz of water per head!) blueberries and ice and it was much more manageable. Disclaimer: I've never been a fan of protein shakes taste-wise to begin with so as far as they go, I think this one is pretty good. :) :)
ISA PROTEIN & FIBER BARS:
They rock. Super tasty and filling, I'm a fan. I learned that I can have a half protein bar as a snack or a full fiber bar. I want to order more of these. Yum!! :) :) :)

NATURAL ACCELERATOR Capsules: One in the morning, one mid-afternoon. No taste. No worries. :)

ISA FLUSH Capsules: 2 in the evening, again, easy, no taste. But there's also not been any noticeable flush (apparently this is not a poopy cleanse - damn) other than more urination due to the added water I'm drinking that's required on this. So if it's flushing I haven't seen proof yet but easy to take. :) 

E+ Natural Balanced Energy Shot Adaptogens:
This is supposed to fight fatigue. Must be working, I've had a shot and I'm not tired despite standing before an audience today. Mind you I haven't felt tired yet on this and I gardened all afternoon yesterday. But what I'm eating is not vastly different from what I normally ate during the day.  The taste of this E+ stuff reminds me a bit of Jaggermeister but sans alcohol. Damn. :)

ISA SNACKS:
These are little pellets that taste like sawdust. Apparently my friends like the berry kind but then as far as I'm concerned they'll just be berry flavored sawdust pellets. Both Greg and I looked at each other and went 'mmm' as in 'yuck.' So that's when I have to remind myself of the image above, especially on cleanse days when the little pellets are supposed to help with cravings. :( :( 



IONIX SUPREME:
This is a shot you take first thing in the morning that's packed with nutrients. This is the stuff I would take whether on a cleanse or not because the ingredients are stellar. As for the taste though, neither of us like it, it's pretty strong. So I advise you mix it with water. So far this is the 2nd most challenging part of the cleanse as I like my tea first thing in the morning vs this strong tasting green shot. It makes me a little nauseous and I can't stomach the 2 cups of water you're supposed to take with it so I'm doing one cup of water or I'll barf. :(

That's all I've tasted to date. There are some other things in there that we will try on cleanse days so I'll update you later. Our first two cleanse days are scheduled for Sunday and Monday. My posts may consequently reflect added grumpiness those days, if I post at all. 

Next post: The most challenging part of this cleanse so far...

Lego for Sam

Isa Tower

So here's the stuff that came with our order which as I recall was one 30 day cleanse pack and one Pacesetter pack. It all arrived earlier than scheduled and the boxes weighed 70lbs each (slight exaggeration) so I began to feel like I was already working out as soon as I got the stuff. Well done Isagenix!

I spent half the day gardening today and have to get up early for work tomorrow so here's an excerpt of my texts a few days ago to our sponsors who checked in on the day the shipment came in:

"Dear friend. Special delivery received. There is enough protein here to energize our entire road for a month.

This is definitely more than a month long cleanse for two. (apparently it's not) Greg suspects he will weigh about 2lbs once we have managed to consume the lot. Perhaps encouraging us to purchase this behemoth was a subliminal message to let us know that we are indeed fatter than we thought we were? 

On the plus side, I created this fabulous Isa tower! It's like Lego! I already feel more youthful."

Dear reader if you're out there, tomorrow I'll give you a run down on how it's going so far and how it tastes...

 

Svelte Cows

Hi, I'm Sam and I feel bloated. (Is there such a thing as BA? (bloateds anonymous)

I'm 41 and I'm not fat at 5 foot 7 I currently weigh 138 lbs. Wii fit says that my BMI is normal and that I can ideally gain 2 more pounds but screw Wii fit. I tend to be one of those girls who gains weight specifically on my boobs (not always a bad thing), and ass (not great) and as a sidebar I get a bloated stomach and feel lethargic and gross. I need to shed that extra winter bloat due to over food and alcohol consumption.

My partner is also 41 and I have to be honest, the Wii fit said he was overweight. (I'm officially dead hehe) He also has to be mindful of high blood pressure that runs in his family and he's not as disciplined food-wise as I am so he needs a solid reboot. His deadly sins are salt and sugar. Luckily I'm not so much of a sugar fan.

As I write this I'm admittedly grumpy. I need a glass of wine and maybe a piece of hot pepper chocolate which is the only chocolate I actually like. (again, lucky on that front) But instead of a fine glass of Shiraz, I'm supposed to have 9000 gallons of water. Mmm water. 30 days of water. Maybe I'll drown.

We actually began this cleanse yesterday but my daughter's pet bunny chewed through my laptop power cord so no laptop today. Plus I was stranded, long story. So I had to postpone blogging till tonight which is officially Day 2 of the cleanse. I'm a vegetarian who likes to snack at night and I can't on this cleanse so the bunny better watch it!

Isagenix. It's all the rage. Lot's of people have become very fit, and I daresay rich on it, especially the founders. From what we can see ISA has a very loyal following which can be attractive to some and a repellent for others. We're a bit more of the latter on that one having an aversion to anything that wreaks of overly zealous idealism not to mention multi-level marketing stuff. It's not a judgment of those who like the idea of community but we both grew up in fundamentalist faiths shoved down our throats so we're cautious.

Which begs the question: why on earth did we decide to do this?

4 Reasons

1) I'm Bloated. He's Overweight. 
I'm generally a healthy eater but I could use a bit more exercise as it's been a long winter. And less alcohol. Yep. I think I drank 10 lbs of wine and I need a system reboot.
He's less disciplined food-wise and the Wii fit he bought me for my birthday told him in a child-like voice that he was overweight. He didn't like baby Wii as much that night. So he's committed now.

2) Our Friends. 
There's this couple we're friends with who are undeniably two of the happiest, loveliest and I dare say physically attractive people we personally know. We share similar values and are at similar places age-wise, career-wise, kid-wise etc. So suffice to say we noticed when their energy levels and youthful vitality seemed to soar to new heights as they shared their ISA journey with us and encouraged us to join. We were admittedly skeptical, as let's face it, this is a multi-level marketing company so odds are that the people plugging the product are also trying to make some coin.

So here's my first bit of advice on that one: We're trying this cleanse without getting into the money-making bit of things. It's not that I won't consider sharing the stuff post cleanse if it works, but for now, I'd rather not be influenced by the money making side of it. Hence the blog. I'd rather document this month-long journey on a daily basis so that you, whoever you are, can have an unbiased view of how this goes. Also, if it bombs, we're happy that our cleanse purchase gave our friends a financial kickback because we care about them and they're great people. So bottom-line, if you do go for this, buy it from someone you like and look at it as a donation to their family income.

3) The Ingredients
I spent a ton of time researching all of the ingredients and a part from the milk products and a bit of sugar the products are pretty stellar ingredient-wise. I normally don't do milk products because the casein tends to bloat me but at least the whey is from grass-fed New-Zealand cows that are somehow better than American cows (maybe they're literate svelte cows...) and since there are tons of pics of the pre-bloated and/or fat miserable people who have eaten said whey and are now slim and smiling why not try it.

4) The Cost
Yes go figure the cost is actually a compelling reason to stick to this. It was like paying a small mortgage to buy our first order for two. But we immediately began thinking healthier thoughts as I had to revive Greg from the heart attack he had when he saw the cost. Okay slight exaggeration.

This is a text to our sponsors/friends once I saw the total cost of the cleanse:

Essentially at those prices we now expect to be hit on regularly by 20 something's post cleanse. Well mind you I'd settle on 30's which would be a vast improvement over my current demographic which seems to be men in their 70's. 

But paying that much means we're committed. As in big time! As in if either of us cheats we'll flog the other. I'd be more likely to cheat on a cheaper cleanse. And our health is worth it cause let's face it, people are willing to pay a lot for shit that makes us age before our time and get fat and sick. So we see it as a solid investment in our health and longevity.

Up next: What happened when the order came in...